9 Years apart but not really!
by HammerF-14
Summary: Harms thoughts about his and Mac’s 9 years apart, as hes talking to her. Just my ramblings ...I really dont know how else to discribe this
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Just what I think could really have been going on while Harm and Mac are supposedly apart...**

**Disclaimer - I don't own JAG or Harm and Mac. But I wish I did...**

**Harm's POV**

I really should have thought this though, when I was briefed on this mission. I was told it might be for a long time. But this has been on going now for 9 years. 9 long years. Having to pretend to be estranged from my wife. Only getting to see her and our daughter in sercret. Never getting to spend more then a few days with them, every few months. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I miss them. Now I'm having to face my wife on this screen and act like she's nothing more then a former work colleague.

I can see the longing in her eyes. She wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to her. I can tell by her body language. When I hear her say "XO good to see you."

What I really wanted to tell her was 'How much I miss her. How I want to hold her - make love to her. ' But all I tell her is that "You look great" Not that you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.

I want to ask her about our sweet little girl. The promise I made to her, the one that I kept. I know I was wrong to agree to do this. I've missed out on so much. So many milestones in my baby girls life, ones that I will never get back. But I take solace in knowing that I gave my wife what I promised her.

Now standing her looking into her eyes, I can see everything she can't tell me out loud. I can see that both of them are ok. And that they love me as much as I love them. That will have to be enough for now. Maybe this will all be over soon. And I will be able to take my family in my arms and never let them go. This really is a "Difficult situation"

**A/N - Should I do Mac's POV or leave it?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Well here's here's my attempt at Mac's POV...**

**Mac's POV**

I couldn't believe what Harm told me, why did he feel the need to put our lives on hold for this. I know he says it's important for the overall safety of not just our family, but everyone in the United States. But why Harm? Yes I know my husband has the knowledge. God knows he his the skills to pull this off. But why him? He's happy in Private Practice. Or at least I thought he was until he started talking about doing this.

Now he's saying something about me being planted in SOS office as a Marine liaison. That's going to be my cover. What are we getting into! How long is this going to last?

**Flash Forward 9 years**

Welll now I know how long. This has been going on - 9 years, 9 long years. Having to pretend to be estranged from my husband. Having to see him in secret. And then only for a few days at a time. Having to explain to our sweet little girl why we can't be family. She doesn't understand why her daddy can't live with us. Why he lives on a boat away from us.

And now I find myself looking at him on the monitor, he acts like all I am is a former work colleague. Not his wife the mother of his child. Keep your cool MacKenzie this is all part of the mission. So all I say is "XO it's good to see you." Then I hear it- the hitch in his voice when he says "You look great." I hear and I see real meaning behind it. 'He misses us..' - At that moment I want to tell him to end it all to come home. Then he says "This is a difficult situation." Harmon Rabb you just hit the nail on the head. This has been this way for 9 long years...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Hang on things are going to get interesting...**

**Still Mac's POV - NCIS Boat Shed**

I have to admit I'm only half listening to Olivia and the computer tech. I keep looking at my hiusband standing in front of me. He looks worried, I can see the little worry lines on his beautiful face. I want to reach through this screen and take that face in my hands and kiss each one of those lines.

I walk closer , casually fiddling with the simple diamond necklace around my neck. I wonder if he remembers giving me this. I remember, he gave it to me the day our daughter was born. After 14 hours of labor, he placed it around my neck. Telling me that I'm forever his diamond. I've never taken it off. I can't wear my wedding ring but I can keep this close my heart.

I hear Olivia say something about this going to take a while. I look from her back to Harm walking closer to the screen. "We're' in for the long haul Harm"

He looks at me, serchiing my face . I can tell he wants to say something. All he says is.. "Copy that." We just stand there looking at each other. An ocean between us. We are both looking into each other's eyes. I know what he's thinking. He's asking about Rosie.. I can tell...

**Harm's POV**

I'm watching Sarah as she's watching the 2 woman monitor the online game. Once they figure out who's the planets on the ship are, the faster this whole mission will be over. And Sarah and myself can go back to our real lives . We can go back to our Townhouse in San Diego.

I see her causally fiddling with her necklace. It's the one I gave her after Rosie was born. She went through hell to give birth to her. She wouldn't let them give her anything. She didn't want to risk hurting our daughter. Our 4% miracle. We had given up any hope, and then Sarah found out she was pregnant. We where both overjoyed and both scared. Neither one of us knew how this would be figured into the mission. It wasn't planned. Both of us where just so happy to be back together. Even if it had been just for 48 hours.

Then Sarah sent me the coded message that she found out she's pregnant. I knew I had to figure out how to be with her for this. I knew I couldn't let her go the through everything alone.She breaks my train of thought when she says "We're in it for the long haul Harm" all I dare to say is "Copy that" I'm afraid to say much more - I can't risk blowing her cover. I can't risk someone here overhearing more than they should. Oh my sweet Sarah oh I love you.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Now we are going to get more into the backstory…**

**Still NCIS Boat shed…**

* * *

They both kept looking at each other, wondering deep down if they where thinking about how this whole deal really got started. Mac knew she was she started to think back to that night when she made her mind up to go talk to Harm one last time.

* * *

**Flashback Harm's Apartment **

**North of Union Station.**

Mac walked up to find Harm's door open, she stood in the doorway watching him move boxes around the apartment. She wondered how to start this whole conversation with him. That's when she realized that he already knew she is standing there.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself .There's something so formal about a packed suit case."

"Yeah! Not to mention an entirely packed apartment."

"Oh"

"How 'bout you? You packed?"

"Mmm not completely. Let's talk about you and me."

That got Harm attention – "Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye."

"Yeah! I know we've been singing it for years"

"Mac I don't think I'll ever feel about – anyone the way I feel about you"

"That very flattering, one piece of advance. Don't share that with your wife whoever she might be, she might not understand.

"Do you understand?"

"Why we can't make it work? Why we let fate decide or future. No I don't"

"Let me ask you a personal question, out of all the men in your life. What attracted you to them?"

"They wanted me and they let me know it!"

"I wanted you, you knew that"

"Harm, No woman wants to be a mind reader, and with there was always complications : work, another woman, searching for your father."

"That's all in the past now"

"Is it?"

"Sarah, we have 12 hours"

"We've had 9 years!"

"Guess I just needed a deadline"

"Well you got one sailor"

They both looked at each other, both knew what was coming. Harm pulled Mac to him taking her in his arms and kissing her. Her mind thought back to that night on the Admiral front porch, his lips where just as soft and welcoming now as they had been that night. Suddenly the kiss ended just as soon as it had started.

"What are you proposing?"

"Marry me, right now tonight."

"What about our Navy careers?"

"I don't care, I'll go with you to San Diego. Hell I'd go with you where ever. Just as long as your my wife."

"What do we tell the General?"

"We let them think we will do a coin toss to see who gives up what. But no matter what we are going to San Diego. I'm not losing you again."

* * *

**Now back to NCIS Boat shed…**

They both still stood looking at each other. No words spoken between them. Mac looked at her husband, she wondered if she looked hard enough into his eyes if she could tell him.. She watched as he searched her features… She could tell he knew.. She saw the hint of a smile…


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – And here's more of the back story….**

* * *

**Harm's Apartment**

**North of Union Station**

"Harm why a coin toss for?"

"Why not. When haven't we flipped a coin to decide anything."

Mac thought for a minute, he does make a valid point. But in the past she ended up losing the coin toss. So what makes this one any different.

"I see what your saying, but why go to all the trouble. If we already know the outcome."

"Humor me."

"Ok sell me on this."

"We call everyone to McMurphy's, tell them we're getting married. But we can't decide which one of us will leave the military. So we're going to flip a coin to decide."

"Do you know how ridiculous this sounds!"

"Baby, we already know the outcome. I'm going with you no matter what. Plus we will already be married."

"Harm we have 11hrs and 15 seconds, before you have to be on a plane to London."

"I'm not getting on that plane. I'm not leaving you again, not ever again."

She looked deep into his eyes. "This is crazy"

"Maybe so, but tell me it's wrong"

"Truth is… I can't and you know, I can't… I want you.. I want every part of you… I want our 4% miracle…"

"Than marry me tonight, right now.."

"You know I will…"

* * *

**Flash Forward 14 years **

**NCIS Boat shed…**

Both still stood watching each other, trying to read each other's thoughts. Mac wondered if she tried hard, if Harm would be able to see what she couldn't say.. But she already knew the answer to that, he always knew what was on her mind, before she said it. Just like she knew what was on his. She could tell just by looking at him. That he is worried that something very bad was about to go down tonight. She just wished she knew what was really going on aboard his carrier…..


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N – The next few chapters will be dealing with what I believe could have happened over the last 14 years… So sit back and enjoy…**

* * *

**Harm's Apartment**

**North Of Union Station**

Harm had made a couple of phone calls after Mac left and went back to her apartment. Was this really going to happen? After all this time was she really going to be his wife? He looked down at his watch. Time seemed to be moving faster then he wanted it too. He started to pace the floor. Should he call her? What if she changed her mind, and decided that she couldn't go through with marrying him? Could he live with that? All these thoughts kept running through his mind. He never heard Mac walk in and sneak up behind him.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. And pressed herself up against his back. She felt him take a deep long breath. He turned in her arms, just looking at her. God she looks like a goddess in Red. He wanted to take her right there on the bar. 9 years of longing, wanting her. Had all lead to this one moment in time. She looked deep into his eyes. She could see everything. Now she knew his secret. His eyes told everything his voice couldn't. Why didn't she notice that earlier. His eyes are the keys to his heart.

"Are we ready to do this?"

"I am if you are Sailor"

"I think I've been ready for 9 years. I was just to afraid to admit it to myself. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you."

"You would never have lost me Harm."

Harm looked at her – "I almost did. To my own stupidly"

"Shhhh…No more talking about the past. Tonight is about the future. Our future."

"Chaplin Turner is on the way."

"Good.."

"Sturgis and Varese are coming with him."

"Should we have called Bud and Harriet?"

"Well. Proudly so but it's a little late for that now. We will just have them meet us at McMurphy's later."

"This is really going to happen, we're really getting married tonight."

"If that's what you want to do. If you want to wait, we can do that too"

Mac stood there and thought, she wanted to marry Harm. But all this is happening fast. Well not really in retrospect, after all she has wait 9 years for this man. But did she really want to get married tonight. That's the million dollar question.

* * *

**Present Day**

**USS Allegiance Bridge**

**Harm's POV**

I'm still watching Sarah, she looks like she wants to tell me more than she can. I know what she's thinking about. I've been thinking about everything as well, I was wrong to think I could put us through this. Put our life on hold for this. But he told me this would be for the better good. He said he did the same thing years ago to protect his family. So I agreed to do it. Now I think I was wrong….


	7. Chaoter 7

**Harm's Apartment **

**North of Union Station **

Harm stood and looked into Mac's eyes. He was looking for an answer. Anything to tell him that they where still on the same page. She just smiled at him.

"Are you nervous?"

"No sweetheart. I thought I would be. But now everything just seems right. Like this should have happened between us years ago."

"Do you think we where ready for all this back then?"

"Maybe not in the beginning, later on I think we where. But I think we just kept getting in each other's way."

Before they could say anything else, Sturgis, Varese and Chaplin Turner walked into the apartment. ( the door was still open ) Both of them looked over. Sturgis walked over to Harm.

"I'm honored you called me Harm."

"Your my oldest friend Sturgis, I felt you needed to be here for this."

Mac watched the interaction between the two of them. She was happy that they patched things up between them. Varese walked over beside Mac.

"So you really Are marring him?"

"Yes! It's been a long time coming. Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"It's what we do for friends, and I'd like to think of us as friends."

"I'd like that too.i don't have many female friends."

Chaplin Tuner cleard his throat. That got everyone's attention. With that he started the small ceremony.

**Flash forward 14 years**

**NCISLA Office **

Hetty had just hung up her phone and head up to the opps center. She walked in just as Eric, Deeks and Kensi where in the middle of talking to Sam, Callen and Harm. Hetty informed them that she has a friend that can help with getting access to Yasnikov, she informed them that she's the Marine Liaison to the SOS.This got Harm's attention, he looked up and straight at Hetty.

"That's right Captain, and she's right here in Los Angeles."

No he thought, please don't bring her into this now. How was he supposed to keep her safe while he was still on board this ship. Why didn't Hetty talk to him before she talked to Sarah. Better yet why didn't he talk to him before bringing Sarah into this..

**Sarah Mackenzie 's Office **

She had just talked with Hetty and everything has been set in motion. They talked about the conversation they would have at the restaurant ( knowing that Russian spy's might be listening in ) She looked at the photos on here desk. One of herself and Harm from their JAG days, but the other is one the one she treasured the most. Harm and their baby girl. It had been taken the day she was born. She picked it up, placing a kiss on Harm.

"I'll see you soon my Fly- Boy, I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Harm's Apartment **

**North of Union Station **

Harm and Mac kissed each other passionately after Chaplin Turner pronounced them husband and wife.They looked deep into each other's eyes. They both couldn't believe that after 9 years they had done it. They had gotten married.

"Do you feel any different sweetheart?"

"Well, this one feels right. Like I was waiting for you."

"I don't mean to rain on your parade. But what about your careers?"

Both looked at each other they still needed to fill in Sturgis and Varese in on that part of their plan. Mac nodded to Harm.

"We're going to leave here and go to McMurphys. We're going to flip a coin to see who gives up what."

Sturgis looked at both of them. "Why a coin toss?"

"Sarah care to answer that."

"We've always tossed a coin to decide anything, so why should our careers be any different."

"And your both ok with how this ends up?"

Harm smiled and looked over at his wife. "No matter what I've already won, I've got the best prize in the world. This woman right here, and a promise of our 4% miracle."

"4% miracle?" Varese looked from Sturgis to Harm for an answer. Mac spoke up.

"I've only been given a 4% chance to conceive a baby."

"Sarah I'm so sorry." Varese looked at her new friend

"That just means this squid here, is going to have to work extra hard to hold up his end."

Harm raised his eyes brows. "Oh really extra hard"

Sturgis just laughed - "You heard her buddy. I hate to do this but we've got to go. I've got to drop dad and Varese off. Before meeting you at McMurphys."

Harm walked over to Sturgis and gave him a hug. "Thank you, see ya in an hour."

"Will do buddy." Chaplin Turner, Sturgis and Varese all left leaving Harm and Mac alone in his apartment. Mac looked down at her engagement and wedding ring.

"I don't want to take them off..."

"I know sweetheart but in order for this to work, we can't tell them we're married already. After all I technically outrank you."

"I know Harm.."

**Flash Forward**

**Sarah MacKenzie's Office**

She put the picture of Harm and Rosie back on her desk. And she opened her drawer and picked up the photo from the night they got married. That was the second happiest day of her life. The other one being when Harm told her she's pregnant. She smiled as she thought back to that day 6 years ago.

**Harm and Mac's Townhouae**

**San Diego CA.**

Mac looked at the white stick. 1 line again, 1 stupid line. Always 1 line never 2. Why did she even bother anymore . All it did was lead to heartbreak all over again. She tossed the stick into the trash can. Harm would be home soon. This time she would get to see him for a whole 72 hours.

She heard the front door open, she ran out of the bedroom and into his arms. "God I've missed you. How much longer is this going to last?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I get 72 hours this time."

"Let's make the most of it."

"I plan to baby." Harm took Mac's hand and lead her towards the bedroom. "Just let me grab a quick shower first." Before Mac could think. Harm disappeared into the bathroom. She started towards the door, when he walked out. Holding her discarded pregnancy test in his hand.

She looked at him as he held it... "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I'm sorry Harm"

"Sweetheart why are you sorry?"

"I'm not pregnant "

"But I thought 2 lines means pregnant?"

"It does but there's only 1..." Than it hit her, he said 2 lines..

"2 lines, there's 2 lines." Harm handed her the test. She looked at... Tears forming in her eyes.

"Sweetheart your pregnant "


	9. Chapter 9

**Harm and Mac's Townhouse**

**San Diego CA**

Mac found herself unable to breath normally. Harm had just told her, she's pregnant. How could she have misread the test? Wait maybe she didn't wait long enough..

"Harm I.. I didn't know.. When I checked it, I only saw 1 line."

"Look baby 2 lines, clear as day."

She looked and he was indeed right - 2 lines... They were clear as day.. "Harm what if... what if.. it's not right"

"Do you want to take another one to be sure?"

"Should I ?"

"Well if it will ease your mind, I don't see the harm in it."

Mac breathed a huge sign of relief. " Yes I want to be sure, I can't go through another disappointment."

"I know sweetheart, tell you what. I'll go get you one and you get ready to pee..."

Mac rolled her eyes at him... " Really you want me to get ready to pee!"

"Yes! Drink lots of water... I'll be right back... " He kissed her on the nose and headed out of the bedroom. Mac sat down on the bed, She started rubbing her abdomen. "I really hope you're in there little one. Your daddy wants you so much. He would never admit how disappointed he'lll be if you're not in here. Not to mention how disappointed l'll be."

Mac didn't know that Harm had been listening at the door as she was talking. He just stood there. He held the test in his hands. If it did turn out negative would they recover from this? If it's positive how would all this play out? He didn't have any answers. Just more questions. What on earth where they going to do.. He walked in and held up the box loloking at Mac..

"Ready to pee?"

**Present Day**

**USS allegiance **

**Captain Rabb's Office**

After speaking with Hetty ( well he only listened ) he was left with more questions then answers. What did they know that he didn't know. He had read all the classified material that had been sent to him. What was Hetty upto that he didn't know about. And why was Mac in LA and not in DC? And better yet where was Rosie at...


	10. Chapter 10

**Present Day**

**USS Allegiance**

**Captain Harmon Rabb's Office**

He couldn't help but let his thoughts go to Sarah and his daughter. Hetty said she's in Los Angeles. Why wasn't he told this before now. If Sarah is in LA where is his daughter.? Who had she been left with. He was tempted to open his laptop and try to see if he could send her a coded message. He had no way to know when she would see it. So he just sat there. Opened his desk drawer and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a folded up photo.

It was of Sarah and his little Rosie. He looked at it. He took it last time they had been in DC. Rosie was so happy to get to see where her mommy and daddy met. He had told her the story as often as he could when he was home. And now they where in DC for a few days just like a normal family. But there was nothing normal about there family. He pulled out another picture.

This one was of him and Sarah the night they got married. They had everything ahead of them. No worries, he was going to go with her San Diego. She was going to head up JAG's San Diego Office. He went into the Naval Reserves. And end up changing his designator back. Now everything was about to blow up. He just knew something was wrong.

**Present Day**

**Sarah Mackenzie's Office**

She kept looking at the photo of Harm and their daughter. She drifted off thinking back to the morning after she gave birth to her.

**6 years in the past**

**Sarah Rabbs Hospital Room **

Mac opened her eyes when she heard soft talking. She looked over at her husband holding their tiny little daughter. She wanted to cry at the sight in front of her. He wanted her so bad. She just listened to him talking to her.

"That's how your mommy and daddy met my sweet little Sarah Rose..Do you know how beautiful and perfect you are? No you don't know that. You just know you like to be held. And you know what? Your daddy loves to hold you, he never wants to put you down.You look just like your mommy. That's a good thing, your mommy is the most beautiful woman your daddy has ever seen. Here's a secret between daddy and daughter, your daddy was a fool when it came to your mommy. He almost lost his chance with her. But your mommy never gave up on me. And now I have you."

Mac couldn't take it anymore, she was in tears listening to Harm pouring his heart out to their daughter. She sniffled, when she did. Harm looked up and smiled at his wife. He got up and walked over to the bed. Mac shifted on the bed making room for him.

"Look little Sarah your mommy is awake.."

"I have a confession to make, I was listening to you."

"I see"

"I love you so much Harm.Do you have to go back?"

"Not for a while. I managed to get some time away so I can spend time with my family. The 2 most important people in the world."

**Present Day**

**Sarah Mackenzie Office**

She put photo back on her desk.

"Soon Harm.. Soon Harm..."


	11. Chapter 11

**6 years in the past**

**Harm and Mac's Townhouse**

**San Diego Ca**

Mac rolled over in bed, she ran her hand out reaching for Harm. He wasn't there. She sat up and started looking around for him. He was no where in sight. She climbed out of bed, she made her way over to the bassist they had brought in their bedroom for little Sarah. Looking in she didn't see her daughter. Well that answered her question, Harm was somewhere in their home with their daughter. Now the question was where.

She walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the nursery. Looking inside but not seeing her husband anywhere. Now the search continues. Waking down the stairs, she started looking towards the living room. That's when she saw him. Standing by the sliding glass doors, looking out towards the ocean. The sight in front of her took her breath away. Her daughter and husband.

She never thought she would get a moment like this. He looks so perfect standing there. Harmon Rabb was meant to be a father. He looked the part. She just wanted to seal this image in her memory for years to come. She looked him over taking in his whole 6'4 frame. Just standing there in his boxers letting his 3day old baby girl snuggle against her daddy's chest. While he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

She walked a little closer so she could hear what he was saying. He was singing to her. At that moment she tried not to bust out in tears. It was the most beautiful thing she ever heard. Harm singing to his daughter, their daughter. Their 4% miracle safe in her daddy's arms. Harm must have heard her. He looked over her way, he opened his free arm her. Mac walked over to him allowing him to take her in arm.

"Now both of my girls are right where they should be"

**Present Day**

**Sarah Mackenzie Office**

Why had everything ended up being so complicated? Sure it sounded easy in the beginning, but that was before Rosie. Little Rosie, she is the innocent one in all this. She doesn't understand what she born into. She took one last look at at Harm and Rosie's photo. Then opened her drawer and hid it away. No one needed to find it when she wasn't there. She stood up picking up her purse and keys, and headed out for lunch with Hetty.


	12. Chapter12

**Present Day**

**Outside Restaurant **

Mac just sat in standard government issued car waiting for Hetty to arrive. Time seemed to be moving by slowly. Sometimes she cursed her since of time. Harm always asked her how she could do it. And she always gave him a smartass answer. Oh god how she missed him so much.It had been over a year since the last time he had been able to sneak home for a few days. Over a freakin year! And then that was only for 72 hours. But they had made the most of those 72 wonderful hours.

They took Rosie to the beach, she loved making sandcastles with her daddy. And they went to the Zoo one day. Harm liked talking to her about the different animals. But it was their nights that she enjoyed the most. They made love every night, shared long baths in their jacuzzi tub. Now all she was left with was her memory's. And the small parting gift he left her. The one he didn't even know about.

She couldn't and wouldn't send it in a coded message to him. No he deserves more then that. Hopefully with what Hetty had told her over the phone this whole thing would soon be coming to an end. And their lives could get back normal. Well normal for them. But who's to really say what normal is nowadays. She thought back to phone conversation earlier. And how they had decided to talked about her life, And her reasons for joining the SOS office.

Hetty said that it's necessary to keep up with the established story already in place. That once her so called marriage ended. She drifted away from Harm and their life. But she began a new one and it's good and she's happy. Happy for him and happy fro herself. When in reality she's in a ' difficult situation' thanks to a certain Salior.

She saw Hetty pull up and park. She waited the appropriate amount of time before exiting her car and making her way into the restaurant. When she entered she walked over to the table Hetty was sitting at. She smiled at her.

"Hetty, it's so good to see you again"

"It's been way too long my friend "


	13. Chapter13

**USS Allegiance **

**Captain Rabb's Cabain**

After talking with ( well Sam, Callen did the talking - he just listened ) The rest of the NCIS agents he now had a lot on his mind. Hetty promised him that she wouldn't involve Mac. Mac could know somethings as part of her cover at the SOS. But now it looked like she was becoming a key player in stoping this. He knew he needed to shut his mind off for just a few hours. He was going to need to alert here in a while. So he closed his eyes and tryed to think of happier times.

**Flashback**

**Over a year ago**

**Rabb Townhouse**

**San Diego CA**

It was after midnight when Harm opened the door and walked inside. He had managed to sneak away for 72 hours. And he was going to make the most of it. He went straight upstairs and into his and Mac's bedroom. Once inside he made short work of his uniform. And climbed in next to Mac. He snuggled up next to her and whispered into her. "Sweetheart wake up"

"Umm... "

"Wake up sweetheart..." Mac brushed her hand over her ear. That's when she felt his his face. Her eyes shot open and she turned to look him dead in the face.

"Harm?"

He smiled at her. "Yes baby, it's me"

She came fully awake now. "How long"

"72 hours and I intend to make the most of it, starting with making love to wife"

**Present Day**

**Outside Restaurant **

**Mac's Car **

She picked up her phone, Placeing a phone call. She waited for the person to pick up.

"It's me, I'm going to need to you to go get Rosie from school for me. And stay with her and Matthew until I get home. "

Mac paused and listened, "I don't know how late I will be

tonight. Something has come up with work. Please tell them both that mommy loves them." She hung up, then opened up her pictures in her phone. She pulled up a picture of her children.

"I love you both, so does your daddy even though he only knows about one of you. Soon my sweet angels soon your daddy will come home to us."


	14. Chapter14

**Present Day**

**Bridge of **

**USS Allegiance **

I couldn't help but notice how Sarah tensed up when I

said this is a "Difficult Situation." Almost like she was trying to tell me something that I don't know about. She suddenly started acting nervous and started talking about the Israelis and the Saudis. I couldn't help but notice how her voice hitched and caught in her throat a bit. She seemed nervous about being in front of me. I realize it's been over a year, but for me I feel like I just left her. Not that I wanted to, but I was only able to sneak away for 72 hours.

I know she understood, at least I hope she did. As I'm looking at her now she still is the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. She still has that same sparkle I first saw when I met her for the first time just outside of The White House Rose Garden. Suddenly she changed back into the Sarah I don't know, when Callen and Sam walk back over.

My Sarah is gone and diplomat Sarah is standing there. Not Sarah my wife mother of my daughter. The woman I married in my apartment. The one I've made love to, held her while she cried when we lost the first baby. Watched her face when I was the one that told her she was pregnant again. That's the Sarah I want to see, my Sarah my sweet Sarah.

**Ncis Opps Room. **

After talking with Harm and the agents on board, I now know more of what my part really is in all this. Not that I didn't have a basic knowledge before. But everything makes more sense now. I understand why Harm had to lie and act like I'm nothing more then a former colleague. Not his wife. And why it's was so important that that myself and Hetty talk about Harm at the restaurant.

The Russians can't know I'm tied to him or the ship in anyway. And they can never know anything about Rosie or Matthew. Our sweet children have to be protected at all costs. But part of me can't help but wonder how big this cost will be? Will we ever have our normal lives back again? Only time will tell. Well time for me to go pay a certain Russian a unexpected vist. Time to get this show on the road.


	15. Chapter15

**Present Day**

**NCIS Boat Shed**

Why am I hearing alarms starting to sound for? What's happening on my husband's ship? I see him suddenly disappear from the monitor. He's talking to someone. I can't make out what they are saying. But I can hear the ton. What ever is happening is not good. I hear him being told that Agents Hanna and Callen are on the situation and he will be kept informed. They don't know my husband like I do. He will leave and handle it his self if he feels it's necessary.

At that moment all I want to do is tell him. Tell him how much I love him, how much his children love him. I'm so torn up inside right now. It's getting hard to remain claim on the outside. So I take a deep breath and walk over to Agent Garcia and Olivia.

"I need an update?"

"We are working on one Col!"

I look at Olivia - "Tell me what's going on in that game? People's lives are steak here!"

"I don't know, They just signed off. "

"Are you telling me- we've lost contact with who ever you were communicating with?"

"Yes for the moment we have!"

I look at the monitor where my husband, had just been standing. Could this day get anymore worse?

**USS Allegiance **

As soon as Harm found out about the hostage situation, he left the bridge and took off towards the commutations room. That's when he found Agents Hanna and Callen.

"Gentlemen what's going on?"

"Two maybe Three Saliors have taken hostages inside." Callen said. Just as Harm started to repond, he hard his name being called back to the bridge.

"Do you have this under control?" He looked at Agent Hanna

"Yes Sir."

"Very well- Carry on."

Harm turned and headed back to the bridge, once there he was apprised of the sittuion.And that the NCIS team was calling in back up. Harm orders planes in the air. He told the Captain he would lead the airal assault. As he made his way to to the pilots ready room his thoughts went back to Sarah and Rosie. He hoped to god that this was going to end well. He suited up and briefed his pilots quickly.

After that he made his way topside to his F-18. He climbed up the side ladder, his RIO right behind him. Once the canopy lowered he took one last look at the deck. Then he looked down at his arm, he flipped open the small patch and looked at the photo of his wife and baby girl. He swallowed hard. Thinking of them as he shot across the deck and off the ship.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N – I want to make myself very clear, from this point on anything that goes back to the NCIS LA storyline is not based on the upcoming season opener. I've no clue what's going to happen on the Sept 29****th**** episode. Anyway I just wanted to put that out there.. Happy reading…**

* * *

**Present Day**

**NCIS Boat Shed…**

Everyone looks up when Eric appears on the screen…

"Colonel Mackenzie your presents is requested back here in ops."

"Thank you Mr Beale I'm on my way."

"Colonel, Hetty wants me to tell you – 9 years is in the air. She said that you'll understand."

Mac took a deep long breath, damn him she thought… "Thank you, I'll be right over."

"Agent Garcia, I have to leave for a while, but I'll return. Please keep me advised as to the progress you make here."

"Yes Colonel."

She walked out of the boat shed and headed straight to her car. Opening the door and slamming it shut once she got inside. She slammed her hands on the stirring wheel.

"DAMN YOU HARMON RABB. Why do you always have to play the hero. Why just this once couldn't you put us first and stay on that ship? What am I going to tell the kids if you get shot down? Oh right you don't know about Matthew. Little Matthew, the product of a 72 hour leave. Snap two Marine. Pull yourself together, you've got a job to do."

Mac wiped her eyes, and started her car driving back over to the Ops Center. Once she was there she started to head up to where Eric would be. But she was stopped by Hetty.

* * *

**Same day**

**NCIS Operations Center**

"Sarah"

Mac looked over at Hetty.. "You got my message?"

"Yes."

"Let's go have a cup of tea and talk."

Mac followed Hetty over to her desk. She saw a man sitting there. She knew this man the minute she saw him. He stood up and turned around. Mac snapped to attention. "Mac I'm not your CO anymore"

"Old habits Sir" Hetty smiled as she watched them. "Sir why are you"

"Here?"

"Yes Sir"

"You know why"

"Do you know he's in the air?"

"I've been informed of the situation"

"SITUATION, SITUATION… I'm so sick of that word. I'm the one that has been living with this for the last 9 years, I've given birth twice during this, had to watch him walk out and go back. And I've to act like I'm ok with all of this. That I'm happy with my life. When all I want is for this whole deal to be over."

"Mac listen to me, I never would have brought you and Harm in on this. If I didn't trust both of you. Damn it you where my best JAG officers and I knew both of you could get the job done. When Hetty first came to me, she already had you both in mind."

"Sir, we where happy. For once we where happy.. Harm was working in Private Practice and still keeping up his Naval Quals in the reserves. I was happy just being his wife, nothing more. For once I had everything that I wanted. Now the one person I love most in this world is on a bombing mission. How am I supposed to act? "

"Like a seasoned diplomat for right now. After its over you can be the wife and mother again."

"Is that an order Sir?"

"Do I need to make it one?"

"No Sir, I know my part in all of this, at least for right now"

Hetty spoke up – "Mac, Eric wanted you up in ops."

Mac looked at The Admiral and then back to Hetty, as she headed up the operations center.

"Well A.J how do think that went?"

"She's a Marine, she'll keep it together."


	17. Chapter 17

**NCIS Operates Center**

Mac made her way up the stairs to the computer operations center. She was just about to go inside when her phone rang. She stoped to answer it. She looked at the name and panic hit her.

"Amanda what's going on?"

( "I'm so sorry Ms Mackenzie, I had to call the ambulance. She... she oh Ms Mackenzie...")

"Amanda please tell me where you are? Are my children ok?

("We're at the hospital, little Rosie...she fell... ")

"What hospital, I'm on my way to you "

("Los Angeles General.")

"I'm on my way.."

Mac hung up and ran down the stairs almost hitting Hetty on her way down. "Is everything ok?"

"No, no it's not ... my baby girl has been taken to the hospital, my husband is god knows where."

The Admrial walked up. "I'll drive you Mac. Where are we going to?"

"Los Angeles General Sir."

A.J looked over at Hetty. "I'll get him here A.J.,"

"See that you do Herritta, I know that man. Something happens to his child he'll never forgive himself."

"Understood"

A.J and Mac headed out to the hospital. And Hetty went up to the operations center. The door opened and she walked in and over to Eric. Eric jumped when she walked up to him.

"Mr Beale I need you to get a coded message to Captain Harmon Rabb."

"What do you need it to say"

"Rosebud Hospital, Mac on the way. Send this ASAP"

"Anything else Hetty?"

"Yes, a mission update?"

"As I was going to tell Colonel Mackenzie. The targets have been taken out. And the pilots are heading back to the ship."

"Very good, make sure to get this message sent and keep me apprised of the situation. "

"Okay."

Eric went over to his computer and went about sending the coded message to Captain Rabb.

**Same time **

**Harm's F-18**

After completeing the bombing drop and ensuring that the ground forces where all safe. He ordered the airwing back to the USS Allegiance. Now he just had to get the situation on the carrier under control.

"Captain we are getting a coded message from the NCIS office in LA."

"Patch it through" Harm told his RIO

Harm listened to message coming through his head set. He felt his stomach drop. His baby had been rushed to the hospital. And he had no clue what was going on with her.

**Los Angels General Hospital **

Mac and A.J made their way into the ER looking for Amanda. Mac didn't see her. She made her way over to the desk.

"Excuse me please, I'm looking for my baby girl. She was brought in by ambulance."

"Ma'am please calm down. What is her name?"

"Sarah Rose Mackenzie "

The nurse looked in the computer, "Follow me Ma'am."

A,J looked at Mac. "I'll wait here and keep up with the other situation."

"Thank you Sir"

Mac followed the nurse back. As they walked towards the back she kept looking for Amanda and Matthew. She didn't see them. They walked into a curtained off room. Mac saw her baby girl laying on a bed crying. And Amanda standing beside her holding Matthew while trying to comfort Rosie.

Sobbing "I want my mommy... I want my daddy.."

"It's okay Rosie, your mommy is coming."

"I want my daddy..."

Mac went over to her, taking her in her arms. "0h my sweet baby."

"Mommy, my head hurts. I want my daddy! I want my Pooh Bear"

"Oh my baby.." Mac cradled her in her looked over at Amanda.

"What happened"

"She fell outside. And hit her head on the bricks. They want to keep her they said she needs to be monitored for a concussion."

A Nurse walked in with A.J behind her. Mac looked over at her former CO. "Sir what's going on?"

"He's been told" Mac lowered her head.


	18. Chapter18

**A/N - I'm not addressing this to any of my long time faithful reviewers ( as I love all you ) but to the ones that want to hid behind an anonymous review. If you have something to say to me. Send it in a PM. But don't leave it as a review. Now rant over, back to your regular scheduled fanfiction.**

**Flight Deck USS Allegiance **

Harm came in for a landing, not his best trap. But he has way more important stuff on his mind right now. He has a ship to secure and a baby daughter that's been rushed to the hospital. He has to get everything under control.

As he made his way across the flight deck, he was greeted by a Petty Officer. The young man came to attention. "At ease , what's going on?"

"Agents Hanna and Callen have requested you in the holding area as soon as you can be there Sir."

"Please advice them that I'll be down there as soon as I can be"

"Aye Aye Captain."

Harm continued to make his way from the deck to his office. Never once stoping. He needed to find out what was happening with his family. As soon as he entered, he went straight to his desk, opened the bottom drawer and opened the secret compartment removing the sat phone.

He sat down and called the first pre programmed number.

("Captain Rabb what can I do for you?")

"Tell me what's wrong with my baby? I got a coded message that she's been sent to the hospital and her mother is on the way."

("Captain, as soon as I know more, I'll tell you. A.J is with Mac and your daughter.")

Harm lowerd the sat phone to his chest, he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

"I'm the one that should be there, I'm her father."

("I understand that Captain, but we need you where you are for the time being ")

"With all due respect Hetty, you're not a father that's half way around the world with a baby girl in the hospital. Not having a clue what's going on."

("Diel the third number in the sat phone.")

"Okay."

Harm disconnected the call, went to the menu and called the third number. This one he had never used before. So he didn't know who would be on the other end.

("Webb")

"Webb what the hell is going on. And why am I talking to you?"

("It's nice to hear from you too Rabb.")

"Cut to the chase Webb."

("I'll tell you what's going on with Sarah and her daughter.")

Harm took a deep breath, if he could reach thru the phone right now, he'd strangle Webb. "What's going on?"

("She took a hard fall, hit her head and is being kept over night so they can monitor her for a concussion")

"How is it that you know this information?"

("You know how Captain, the agency knows everything ")

Webb discontented the call. Harm looked at the phone. He threw it back into the drawer. He felt the tears start to roll down his face. He could only imagine how scared she must be. All he wanted at this moment was be there to hold her and reassure her that she would be ok. And Sarah, she had to out of her mind with worry. It wasn't fare she was having to go through this alone without him.

The knocking door made him look up.

"Enter"

The door opened and Agents Hanna and Callen walked in.Agent Hanna spoke.

"Captain we are going to need transportation back to LA. We have been able to catch the rest of the operatives on board. Right now they're in a holding room"

"Very good gentleman, I'll arrange for a COD to be here within the hour."

Agent Callen spoke up. "Also we spoke with Hetty, and she requested an escort back to the states."

Harm smiled to himself - he knew what she was doing. " I'll fly you in my self. "

Sam nodded - "Thank you Captain" Both men turned to leave out. Harm breathed a long sign of relief. "I'm coming to you my girls." He stood up and headed out to make all the necessary aragments to go stateside.

**Los Angeles General Hospital **

Little Rosie has now been moved to room in the pediatric ward. Mac sent Amanda back home with baby Matthew. Little Rosie had cried herself to sleep. She kept asking for her daddy. Mac knew there was nothing she could do or say to her poor baby to ease her little mind. She knew she's scared and doesn't understand why her daddy can't come to her. Mac heard the door opening, she didn't even bother to look over. She figured it was either a nurse or Doctor coming into check on her daughter.

Until she felt a hand on her shoulder. And a smell that only belonged to one man. The man that for over 14 years has held her heart in his hands. She stood up and turned to face him. Brown eyes meeting blue. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight into his chest.

"Everything will be okay now sweetheart, I'm here and I'm not leaving"


	19. Chapter19

**Rosie's Hospital Room**

**Los Angeles General Hospital **

Mac just stood in her husband's arms, letting him comfort her. Right now she needed his strength. After everything that had been taking place. She just needed her husband now more than ever.

"Sweetheart what have they said about Rosie?"

"They ran a CAT scan on her. ( Sobbing ) She was so scared.It was all they could do to get her to hold still. She didn't understand what was happening to her. Harm I felt so helpless watching her thru that glass. Just like I did when I was talking to you."

"Baby what did the CAT scan show?"

( Sob ) "They haven't brought the results in here yet.All I've been told is, as soon as the doctor looks at them. He'll be in."

Harm rubbed eyes he was tired and running on fumes right now.

"Harm, you look tired"

"I am sweetheart, but I'm not leaving my girls."

Mac signed and took a deep breath, it was now or never. "We need to talk"

"What about?" Mac took his hand and lead him back over to the chairs. He sat down and Mac started to sit beside him, when he pulled her into his lap. "Baby let me hold you, it's been too long since I held held you."

She didn't fight him, cause in this moment she wanted to be in his arms. She needed his strength. She wasn't even sure how to start this conversation. How do you tell your husband that you've not seen or been able to talk to in over a year, that he has a son he knows nothing about?

Before she could get started, the door opened up and a doctor walked in. He walked over to where Harm and Mac are sitting. He laid his hand on Mac's shoulder.

"Ms Mackenzie, I have Rosie's results from her CAT scan." He noticed the man sitting in the chair. "May I talk in front of him?"

"Yes by all means, he's Rosie's father. Captain Harmon Rabb jr."

"Okay, her results show that she does have a minor concussion. It's nothing to be overly concerned about. She will have a headache on and off for a few days, and she might have a little bit of nausea. But all of this is normal."

Mac looked at Harm for confermation. "He's right baby."

The doctor gave Harm a glance, "I assume you've had a concussion before Sir?"

Harm gave the doctor a small smirk "More Times then I care to admit."

This new information caught the doctor's attention "Oh I see. So you would know what other symptoms to look for I assume."

"Dizzy spells, getting tired easily."

"Yes that is correct, also with her being little. She'll be cranky, mostly because she doesn't understand why she feels the way she does. But don't be alarmed, this is all normal. I understand you have a small baby as well."

Oh shit, Mac thought. The doctor just ruined her well thought out plan of telling Harm about his son. "Yes doctor I do."

"If anything the crying might make her cranky, she's going to be clingy and wanting attention."

Mac looked over Harm, he looked startled and confused. But she could also tell he was trying to hide that small fact from the doctor. "Her daddy is good a pampering her. So I don't think there'll be a problem."

"Okay, we will keep her the rest of the night. And release her in the morning." The doctor smiled and headed out.

Mac braised herself for what she knew was about to happen.

"So you have a baby?"

"No we have a baby son."

"How is this possible, we've not been together in over a year MAC?"

"Oh so I'm Mac again! Not Sarah? Your back to that?"

"I'm trying to figure this out?"

"Do the damn math Harm. It not that hard. Or have you been sucking up to much jet fuel?"

"Don't go there with me."

"I'll go where I want to go. Your not the one that woke up one with morning sickness all alone. And no husband around to help. The one that went thru a entire pregnancy alone, went to the doctor alone. Has been raising our daughter alone. So don't start with me."

Harm pushed Mac off his lap and stood. He headed towards the door. "That's right walk away just like you always do. When the going gets tough you leave."

Harm stoped at the door looking at it. "I need to clear my head."

Mac stood beside her daughters bed. She started sobbing. "Oh Rosie, I think I just ran your daddy away from us.."


	20. Chapter20

**Outside Rosie's Hospital room.**

Harm started pacing up and down the hallway. He kept hearing Mac's words in his head. He knew she was right. But that didn't make the fact any easier for him to except.She kept her son from him. Wait she said "we have a son" It dawned on him. He has a baby son.

He thought back,the last time he was with Mac was when he managed to sneak away for 72 hours. He was so happy to be with her, they weren't careful. That's when it happened. Their son was conceived then. Of all the luck, a 72 hour pass. Gave him a son. A Rabb air. Someone to carry on the Rabb legacy. He rubbed his face and headed back towards his daughters room. Now to face a pissed off mother and Marine.

**Inside Rosie's Room**

Mac now stood beside her daughters bed. "I fixed it real good this time sweet girl. I don't know if he's going to come back. Not that I blame him. I was cruel to him. I said some hurtful words to him. I know how important we are to him, and all I did was throw his past in his face. If he never returns, I can't blame him. I knew what we sighed up for. But neither one of us thought what would happen if we had children. My odds were so small. But I should've known. Your father would beat the odds. He always does. He not only did it once, but twice. He gave me you sweet girl and your brother. Even if he leaves, I have both of you."

Harm stood in the doorway just listening to his wife. He didn't want to disturb her. But he knows she's right, when this whole deal started they didn't have any hope of having children. And then out of the blue they where blessed with Rosie. And now a son. A son that he didn't even know. He walked over to his and wrapped his arms around her.

She leaned back into his chest. She felt relieved that he came back. She knew this was far from over. And that they would still need to talk about everything, but this is a small victory. "Harm I'm sorry, I never should have said what I said. You've every right to be upset."

He placed his lips at her ear

"Baby, I'm the one that's sorry, I wasn't here with you. I made you go through everything all alone. I never should have let A.J talk me into to this. Now I know how he felt leaving Francesca behind. Tell me about our son."

Mac turned around. "Hand me my purse."

Harm looked around till he saw her purse on the nightstand. He handed it over to her. She opened it up and took out her phone. She opened up the pictures gallery and pulled up pictures of baby Matthew. Handing the phone over to Harm, he started looking thru the pictures. He was suddenly over come with emotion looking at his baby son for the first time.

"What's his name?"

"Harmon Matthew Mackenzie. But when all this is over, both kids will get their rightful last names. After all they are Rabbs."

"Sarah he's...he's so..." He couldn't believe that he is looking at his baby boy. His future a small part of his father. "He's perfect, I ..." He couldn't stop the emotions filling him up right now. "Please forgive me for the way I acted earlier, I'm the one that put us in this situation in the first place. I've done a lot of looking back, all this is on me. And it ends now. I'm retiring."

Mac knew it was now or never. "No your not, not for at least 4 years."

"Why 4 years?"

"There's a photo you need. And he's still a little too small to sit in cock pit of a F-18."

He knew she's right, part of him does want that photo. But not at the expense of going off and leaving his family for months at a time. He has already missed so much. They both looked over when they heard a small voice come from the bed.

"Mommy my head hurts " Mac went and sat down on the bed, Harm followed her. "I know sweetie, look who's here"

Rosie looked around then her little eyes landed on her daddy. She smiled and started to try and get up. Harm made his way over to her quickly. "No no Rosebud, you stay right here."

"Daddy are you real?"

"Yes baby girl, I'm real.."

"I been a good girl for mommy, I help her with my brother. He's a baby still. He cry's a lot. Why dose he do that daddy?"

"Well sweet pea, that's his way of talking to us."

"Oh. Daddy why does my head hurt?"

"You have a boo boo."

"Like you get daddy?"

"Yes daddy has gotten boo boo's like that before."

"How daddy?"

Harm looked at Mac, "Go ahead tell her how you got a boo boo on your head."

"Which time?"

"Your call Fly - Boy."

"Well daddy, got a boo boo once when he landed his plane to rough."

"Oh. Did mommy kiss your boo boo."

"You know your mommy never did kiss daddy's boo boo."

Rosie looked over at her mommy. "Why did you not kiss daddy's boo boo?"

"Mommy wasn't with your daddy when he got his boo boo.. But mommy has given daddy lots of kisses sense then."

"Okay, I'm sleepy. Daddy will you be here when I wake up?"

"Yes baby I'll be here. Daddy isn't leaving his Rosie."

Harm stood up and took off his white uniform top, and removed his shoes. He laid down beside Rosie talking his baby girl in his arms. He looked over at Mac. She knew what he wanted so she laid down on the other side of Rosie. All three drifted off to sleep for now. Nothing needed to be decided right than. There would be time for that later.


	21. Chappter21

**Rosie's Hospital Room**

**Next Morning **

Mac quietly got up and walked out into the hallway. She pulled out her cell phone and sent a text message to Amanda. Even though she knew her baby boy is good hands with her. He's still her little baby and she worried about him. After a brief conversation with her. ( v.i.a text message ) She called Hetty.

("Sarah, how can I help you?")

"You can tell me this is over."

("As far as we can tell, everything has been handled and dealt with.")

Mac breathed a sign of relief. "So this means that my life can go back to normal? I can have my husband back, my children can have their father?"

("Sarah, it is still going to take time to tie up loose ends. Harm will have to go back to his ship.")

"For how long? He said he wants to retire."

("You of all people know how the military work. However I will arrange for him to have an extended leave. So that he can spend time getting to know his son.")

Mac took a long deep breath - "I guess that's better then nothing for now. I should get back in the room and check on Rosie."

("How is young Ms Rabb doing? ")

"She has a mild concussion, she's scared and doesn't understand why her head hurts. She's a little confused. Harm comforted her last night. She loves her daddy."

("Fathers and daughters have deep bonds. I've no doubt he feels helpless right now.")

Mac laughed - "Hetty you know Harmon Rabb very well. His daughter means the world to him."

("I sense hesitation in you.")

"I... I just want him to bond with Matthew like he has with Rosie."

("He will Sarah...He will...")

Mac started to say something when she saw Amanda walking up with baby Matthew. "Hetty I need to go."

("Good Luck Sarah.")

Mac hung up the phone.. "Amanda thank you for bringing him up here."

"Your welcome Ms Mackenzie, do you need anything before I leave?"

"No I think we're good, if I need you I'll call or text you."

"How's Rosie?"

"She's doing okay. Thank you for getting her here fast yesterday."

"I owe you an apology. I should have been watching her better."

"It's fine, she's a little daredevil."

"I have to agree with you. I just feel so bad that she got hurt."

"I know, but please don't blame yourself."

Amanda smiled "I can't help it." Mac placed her hand on Amanda's shoulder. "You did everything right, don't doubt anything that you did. "

Amanda signed - " Okay Ms Mackenzie." Amanda handed over Matthew along with his bag. Mac took her son and told Amanda goodbye. She took a deep breath and headed back into Rosie's room.

Harm looked up when he heard the door open. His eyes fell on Sarah and baby carrier she had with her. He got up off the bed, walking over to her. He looked down at the baby. His eyes got wide when he saw his son. His little boy. Suddenly he became overwhelmed with emotion. He never thought that he would get this feeling again.

Mac lifted Matthew out of the carrier. She placed him in his father's arms. Harm just stood there holding him. Matthew reached his little hand up. Harm let him take hold of his finger. The baby held on tight.

"You've got quite the grip there little man." He looked over at his wife. "He's perfect, just perfect."

Mac smiled - "I think he looks just like you."

Harm studied his features. "I think your right, " The more Harm looked at him, the more his emotions took over. "Sarah, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm sorry you had to go through this all alone."

"I understand, when Webb told me he couldn't get a message to you.."

Harm looked at her with shock in his eyes.. "Webb knew?"

"I thought you knew? Hetty told me to contact him to see if he could get a message to you."

"The first time I had contact with Webb was when he told me about Rosie."

Harm was now more then a little pissed off. Webb knew he has a son and never told him. Harm made himself a promise that Webb would pay for this. But now was not the time. That would come later. Now his wife and children need him. They are his priority.

Mac watched Harm, she knew he was upset. And she knew it has everything to do with Webb. Damn why had she trusted that spook to get a message to Harm.

"Harm, I'm so sorry I trusted him. I should have learned from the past not to trust him. But I was desperate I wanted you to know."

Harm laid Matthew in his carrier. He took his wife in his arms. Placing a kiss on her lips. She responded by deepening this kiss. Oh god how she had missed those perfect lips. Those perfect Harmon Rabb lips. No man could kiss like he could. She moaned into his mouth.

Suddenly he stopped pulling back from her. She looked confused. "Sweetheart you did nothing wrong. I just don't want to start anything here at the hospital."

"Your right.."

Harm smiled, "Why don't you stay here with the kids, while I go get us some breakfast."

"Okay, but hurry back. We'll miss you."

"I promise I'll be fast." Harm took a look at his family, as he turned and walked out of the room. Once he was out in the hallway, he pulled out his phone. The person on the other side answered.

"Get a message to Clayton Webb for me. We need to talk."

With that he hung up and headed to the cafeteria...


	22. Chapter22

**A/N - Here we go again...On with the story...**

**Los Angeles General Hospital **

After hanging up Harm made his way towards the cafeteria. He kept thinking about Sarah and the kids. His heart ached for the lost time with them. When this whole thing had started, they didn't have any kids. And now he has two, his little Rosebud and now Matthew. His little boy.

The more he thought about about his life now. The more he was determined to make everything right by them. Starting with his career, it was now time to leave the Navy once and for all. This much he knew for sure. But before he made any rash decision he would talk everything over with Sarah.

He entered the cafeteria and looked around for him. Having spotted him he made his way over to the table . The man looked up at him and smiled. The man stood up and greeted Harm.

"Rabb"

Harm eyed him - "We're going to have this out once and for all Webb."

"Look I came like I was asked to. What more do you want from me?"

"Really! How do you justify not getting my wife's message to me about my son? What's the motive behind that? And keep in mind I'm a man with nothing to loose right now!"

Webb looked at Harm, "You really don't get it Rabb. I never stoped..."

"Watch your words here Webb..She's my wife not yours.."

"Sarah is too good for you Rabb. She always has been, you don't deserve her or those kids. That's why i didn't tell you. You don't deserve them."

Harm lost his cool, he reared back and punched Webb in the nose. "Damn you Rabb! You broke my nose."

"Be glad that's all I broke. Get the hell out of here. I catch you near my family anymore and a broken nose will be the least of your worries."

"This is far from over Rabb."

"That's where you're wrong, I'm done I'm not going back. My family is my number one priority now. They are my future, my little girl and my baby boy. Who until yesterday I didn't even know about. Sarah deserves the life I promised her. Not the one she's been living. And I'm going to make damn sure she gets it."

Webb looked at Harm as he started to leave, "You're right about one thing Rabb, Sarah deserves a life far better than either one of us can give her." Webb walked out leaving Harm standing there.

Harm knew there was some truth to what Webb said. And he knows he has a lot of lost time to make up to his family. He thought back to the night that Mac had her miscarriage. He remembered holding her as she grieved. He wanted to take all her pain away. All the pain that he caused her.

He swore he would never be the one to cause her pain, and he was the the reason she was in pain now. He was the one that was obsessed with trying for a baby. He wanted to keep his promise to her. And now that promise was causing her pain.

His thoughts now went back to his wife and children. He knew he needed to go back and be the father and husband that they deserved. The time was over being the cocky fighter pilot. Now it's time to be Harmon Rabb the husband and father.

**Later Rosie's Hospital Room**

"How are you sweet girl?"

"My head hurts mommy! Where did daddy go? I want my daddy..." Rosie started crying, Mac took her daughter in her arms gently rocking her...

"Shhh babygirl, daddy will be back... He just went to his Rosebud a surprise.."

Sniff sniff "you always say daddy will come back, and he's gone for a long time mommy."

"Oh sweetheart I know daddy goes away for a long time, but this time he hasn't gone to far." Mac took a deep breath and mentally checked the time. Harm had been gone close to an hour. Where the hell was he. She looked up when the door opened. A smile spread across her face when Harm walked back in carrying food,little stuffed frog and a teddy bear for Rosie and Matthew.

Harm walked over to the bed, leaned in and kissed his little daughter on her head. "Hey sweet pea, daddy brought you a surprise."

Rosie looked up at her daddy and smiled her Rabb smile. Harm placed the frog in his daughters little arms. She hugged it to her, than she tried to get up and go to her daddy. Harm stoped her, he sat down next to her so she could hug him. "I love you daddy..Please don't leave me again."

"Sweetpea daddy is not going anywhere anytime soon."

Mac watched Harm and Rosie. Than she looked down at little Matthew sleeping soundly in his carrier. She worried that Harm wouldn't bond as well with him as he had with Rosie. Harm picked up on where Mac was looking. He got up, walking around to the other side of the bed. He reached down, picking up his sons carrier off the floor. He took him out, and took him in his arms once again.

"Hey there baby boy, I know we've only just met. And that's my fault, you see daddy been on a big boat. But that's all going to change, daddy is going to spend lots of time with you, mommy and your sister from now on. He's not going to leave you alone. At least not by his choice. You know you look a lot like your mommy. And I think that's wonderful, in my eyes your mommy is perfect. She's the perfect mommy for you and your sister. Daddy is lucky to have your mommy. Daddy has made a lot of mistakes where your mommy is concerned, but he's learned a lot as well. And now he's going to work extra hard to make everything up to all of you."

Mac listened to everything Harm was telling Matthew. She knew when they agreed to start this undercover operation that it wouldn't be easy. But they had no reason not do it. It was only after that everything started to change. And their life took a different turn. The pieces that they wanted started to fall into place. But by then it was to late to stop what had been started. Now all they could do was move forward.

Harm glanced over at his wife- "I called Webb, I wanted answers from him."

"You did what? Why would you call him for?"

"I wanted to know why he didn't get your message to me, I didn't like what he told me. So I broke his nose. "

"Harmon Rabb, if I didn't love you as much as I do, I'd be mad as hell at you right now. The last thing I wanted was to drag Webb back into our lives. But I do see why you felt the need for answers." She walked over to Harm and their son. "After all that we've been thru all I want is normal with you and our children, I want to go home to our place in San Diego. I want to watch our children grow up and I want to grow old with my fly boy. "

Harm looked at Mac, "sounds perfect to me. But first we have to get this little lady over here sprung free. Than the rest can start."

"Sounds like a plan fly boy."

**A/N - more still to come... stay tuned...**


	23. Chapter23

**A/N - We are entering the home stretch I think with this.. But we will just have to see what the muse has in store. Once again thank you to all my reviewers.. **

**Later the same day**

**Sarah Mackenzie Penthouse**

**Los Angeles CA**

After the hospital released Rosie, they drove back to Mac's penthouse she's been renting while she has been working in LA. Harm helped her get the kids settled in their room. And they went into Mac's room.

Both seemed quite nervous about being in there. Almost like this was all new to them. Mac walked over and stood in front of Harm. She wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her into his embace. "God Sarah it's been so long since I just got to hold you like this." He burred his face in her neck and started to nuzzle it. Mac closed her eyes loosing herself in him.

Before either one of them realized it. They found themselves tearing off each other's clothes. Desperate to feel each other, over a years worth of desire and passion coming to a boil. "God Harm I've missed you, I need you."

"What do you need?"

"You just you, I need you.. I want you to make love to me like you did that first night in your apartment"

"MOMMY...MOMMY..." Both stoped when they heard Rosie crying out.. After that came the cry's of Matthew... Mac fell on Harms chest..."Sweetheat I'll check on Rosie..."

"I'll get Matthew. He'll need to be fed, to get him back to sleep..." They both got up and quickly put some clothes on, making their way to the kids room. Harm went over to Rosie's bed. He took his baby girl in his arms rocking her.

"What's wrong with daddy's girl?"

"My head hurts and now my tummy hurts."

"Daddy understands, daddy knows what this is like."

"I don't like it daddy, make it go away." ( Rosie is sobbing into Harm's chest )

"Sweetpea daddy can't make it go away, but daddy can give you some medicine that will help you."

"Okay daddy" Harm carried Rosie with him into the kitchen and got out the medicine the hospital sent home with Rosie. He gave it her along with a glass of orange juice and some of her animal crackers. Rosie took her medicine along with her juice and crackers.

Harm watched his sweet little girl, he hated that he couldn't take her pain away from her. And he hated that she had to be in pain in the first place. He made a mental note to ask Sarah what happen. Rosie held out an elephant shaped cracker to her daddy. "For you daddy"

Harm took the cracker from her. "Daddy's girl knows what daddy likes. Is Rosebud ready to go lay back down?"

She nodded her little head. Harm picked her up and carried her back to her room. When they got there, he laid her back in her bed. Tucking her in, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her far head. "Daddy will you sing to me?"

"Daddy will always sing to his baby." He started singing Baby Mine to her. As he watched his daughter drifting off, he was sad about the amount of time he had lost with her. He made himself a promise, he wasn't going to loose anymore time his children or his wife. He was going to do right by them.

It didn't take long for Rosie to go back to sleep. He turned on her nightlight and walked out. He headed down the hallway to Mac's bedroom. When he walked in he noticed Mac was still nurseing Matthew. He just stood and watch them.

It was such a beautiful sight. His wife and son, he suddenly felt overwhelmed by the emotions in him. Mac looked up and smiled. She patted the spot next to her. " Come join us daddy" Harm walked over to the bed and sat down next to Mac. He just watch as his little son sucked away.

He noticed how Mac held the tiny baby close to her. Letting him feel her skin. He reached over and brushed his hand over his head. Matthew turned his head towards his father. Unlaching himself from his mother. Mac handed him over to Harm to along with the burping cloth. He placed the cloth on his shoulder along with Matthew gently patting his back.

"He's perfect." Was all Harm could say... Mac scooted closer to Harm, laying her head on his free shoulder. She placed her hand on top of Harm's on Matthews back.

"He really is all Rabb, at least I think so."

"I can see part of you in him Sweetheart."

"Maybe I'm biased, but I want him to be just like you."

"Really! I thought one Harmon Rabb in your life was enough?"

"I'm revising that statement, I love having two Harmon Rabbs."

"I need to know something Sarah."

"Why I trusted Webb?"

"Yes...and well, do you..."

"Shhhh... I was desperate, they where talking about sending me back to DC. I had to get a message to you. I asked Hetty how to get one to you fast. Like I did before. She said a coded message was my best option. And Webb would have to do it, cause your ship was out of range and in a classified area. I was told later he couldn't get the message out. I didn't know what else todo."

Harm signed - "Now I understand more of the reasoning behind everything. It just makes me even more mad at Webb for not telling me, or at least trying to tell me. Sweetheart if I had known..."

Mac placed her free hand over his lips, "I know you would have been here.. I know that, I know who you are and I know that nothing and no one would have stoped you. Even if you had to fly yourself here. That's the Harmon Rabb I know and love with everything in me. That's the man that risked everything for myself and my uncle, when he knew nothing about me. The man I fell in love with, and I still love to this day. The man that is father of my children. And the one that holds my heart."

"Baby...I love you and our kids, all I want is our life back that we started. I want to go home to San Diego with you and the kids. I don't want to go back."

"Do you think that's possible?"

"Honestly I don't know right now, I'm just on an extended leave." Harm shifted Matthew so he was holding him in his arms. He looked down at him. "Dad would have loved this little guy. He would have been proud to have a grandson."

"I told your mom and Frank. Both are over the moon about him. I promised we would come for a visit soon."

"How's Franks health?"

"Trish said he has good and bad days. But he's holding his own."

Harm looked down. "I really never did right by Frank. I owe him a lot, he's a good man. He's been good to both mom and I over the years."

"He loves you like a son. You know that."

Harm kept looking at his own little boy. "I'm always going to do by right by all three of you. I promise "

Mac smiled and knew that he would do just that. If she had learned anything over the years, it's that Harmo Rabb never makes a promise he can't keep.

**A/N - I think this is a good place to end this. I might do an epilogue, can't decide right now... **


End file.
